Boiling down

So today’s writing suggestion are as follows:

  1. Boil down Hamlet to a Tweet
  2. Tweet the plot of Star Wars
  3. Tweet my life story
  4. Tweet my day so far

1. I hate people who assume everyone has read “Hamlet”. I don’t even pretend to like or give a shit about Shakespeare. Like most Americans born past 1776, I come to his work by way of some new, and usually better twist of the original, like West Side Story, 10 Things I Hate About You, or Scrubs.

This summer we went to a Shakespeare in the park event. We even saw Hamlet, and I can’t for the life of me figure out how anyone gets what in the hell is going on. Maybe I was just restless, because I can’t sit that long on the ground.

So no, I can’t summarize the plot in a 140 character Tweet. instead, I’ll write it’s most famous line in Twitterese; “2b or not 2b”.

2. The plot of Star Wars; “Die Hard for Retards”.

3. My life story; “Uselessly ahead of the curve.”

4. My day so far: I’m already ahead at getting behind.