642 things to write about

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My Secret Santa got me a booked called “642 Tiny Things to Write About“. I thought Id use it as a way to get unstuck when writing blog posts.

The first two entries are:

  • Write yesterdays fortune cookie. It got everything wrong.
  • Write last years fortune cookie. It got everything right.

Im assuming some people have fortune cookies on New Year’s Eve. I don’t. So I’ll pretend I did. The last fortune I can remember was when I was a kid. It said, “Be kind to pigeons and they’ll make a statue of you.” I was probably about 8 at the time, so I thought it meant pigeons would build the statue, presumably out of turds.

If it got everything wrong
I picture the scene from “High Anxiety” whell Mel Brooks runs, but he can’t hide, from all the pigeons in the park. It’s a parody of “The Birds”. He seeks shelter in a shed, but they find a hole in the skylight.

If it got everythign right
I picture them erecting a statue of me in the park. I’d be wearing a DeKalb seed corn cap. When I was a kid, a pigeon shat on the bill of mine. All I heard was a loud tap, and felt the wet fresh plop. I eventually ripped the bill off that hat.

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