When someone asks how old I am, I just say, “I’m at THAT age now.”

What does THAT mean?

It means whatever state I’m in; whether it’s my age, weight or cognitive abilities, people were expecting something much worse.

So, I’m at THAT age now.

I had my annual physical and the doctor said everything looked pretty good for a guy my age. The only thing he was concerned about was my BMI score. He said it’s a little hight at 30, and he’d like to see me get it down to the low 20s. For those of you under 30, BMI stands for Body Mass Index. It’s the ratio of what someone ought to weigh based on their height.

Shaving a couple points off my BMI didn’t sound too difficult. So I asked my doctor what he recommended. He said, if we go by your height of 5’11”, you should lose about 50 pounds.

Ouch. I asked what else could I do. And he said, if we go by your weight, then you should grow about 11 inches. Either way, you’re going to need new clothes.

My wife asked how the appointment went, and I told her great except for having to lose 50 pounds. She replied, “but you don’t look that fat!”

I have reached THAT stage in my life where THAT is the nicest thing anyone can say about me.

I told a women in her mid-30s how old I was, and she said, you don’t look THAT old. I think it was a compliment, but it feels more like damning with faint praise.

The thing about THAT is it isn’t a compliment. It’s a confession. Next time you hear someone tell you their weight, age, etc. Just nod or shrug. Because when you say THAT all you’re really saying is it’s bad. Just not as bad as I thought.