Brian Maggi
Reality Check
Other jobs? I was under the impression people became realtors because they sucked at their previous job.
Workday Super Bowl Commercial
In an effort to save money, Workday laid off 400 people…except the guy who spent around $14M to run a Super Bowl ad. Doritos and Chevys I get, but no one who’s in charge of selecting a multi-million dollar enterprise…
Banning Drinking and Driving
It’s shame all these folks didn’t get to live long enough to complain about COVID.
Plant-based Fish
Great news kids! We know how much you already hate eating vegetables. We found a way to make them taste and smell like fish! If that doesn’t work just tell them to shut up and enjoy the muscle fiber and…
In Defense of Karens
Instead of maligning a small group of women, we should start naming meltdowns like hurricanes. It’s not fair to all the Julies, Angies, and Jennies out there making a complete ass of themselves in public. To make it even more…
Going back to the gym
After 3 years, I finally returned to the gym. I feel like a captive animal that was reintroduced to the wild. I have been using a Peloton for so long, I totally forgot it’s not appropriate to stare at your…
French and English Labels
I understand why there’s often more than one language on packaging. Companies might sell their products in another country and want to save money. But why is it usually French? Am I to believe the only other place Old Spice…
Buzz Aldrin
I just read that astronaut Buzz Aldrin, 93 just married the love of his life. This is his 4th wife. So how many years did this old geezer spend not in love?
Mind altering
Who needs acid, ecstasy, or shrooms at my age. If you want a total mind fuck, just go shopping at a Target or Kohls in some other city than your own. Everything inside is all the same, but step outside…
Goodwill
I’m at that age now, where the clothes I donated to Goodwill last year are worth more than clothes I bought at Kohl’s this year.
Training pads
I have a really old dog. He’s 15 years old and he’s been having bladder control issues and sometimes he can’t hold it long enough pisses in the house. So we bought him these training pads. They go on the…
Didn’t we fight a war to not give a shit about royalty?
As a reasonable human being, I’m sorry to see Queen Elizabeth go. I realize she meant a lot to the people of England and elsewhere. Now might be a good time for Americans to remember we fought, and won a…
Everyone’s an infomercial host
I finally broke down and bought a pair of Birkenstocks after resisting for decades. I’ve only had them a couple days and the left one is rubbing the top of my foot sore. So I googled, how to break them…
State of standup
I’ve been watching a bunch of standup clips on YouTube and Instagram. Most of them involuntarily because they’re injected into my feed. Either the platform algorithms are working overtime, or there is a crisis-level glut of standup comedy, or possibly…