Blah Blah Blog

Instead of maligning a small group of women, we should start naming meltdowns like hurricanes. It’s not fair to all the Julies, Angies, and Jennies out there making a complete ass of themselves in public.

To make it even more equitable, we can alternate between female and male names to make all the Kevin, Todds, and Bobs happy.

I understand why there’s often more than one language on packaging. Companies might sell their products in another country and want to save money. But why is it usually French? Am I to believe the only other place Old Spice Night Panther shower gel is available is France?

Astronaut Buzz Aldrin, 93 just married the love of his life. This is his 4th wife. So how many years did this old geezer spend not in love?

Who needs acid, ecstasy, or shrooms at my age. If you want a total mind fuck, just go shopping at a Target or Kohls in some other city than your own. Everything inside is all the same, but step outside in the parking lot and try to find your car. That’s a trip.

I’m at that age now, where the clothes I donated to Goodwill last year are worth more than clothes I bought at Kohl’s this year.

I have a really old dog. He’s 15 years old and he’s been having bladder control issues and sometimes he can’t hold it long enough pisses in the house.

So we bought him these training pads. They go on the floor, so your dog can…well, go on the floor.

Before, he used to bark incessantly to let us know he needed to go out. Now he doesn’t make a sound. He just sneaks away and takes a piss or dump in the house when no one is looking. For anyone who thinks you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, guess again. We have taught our old dog to be discreet.